Last year, Karen and I did some landscaping in our front garden.

Amongst other things, we planted about 10 lavender plants to go alongside our front path.

Everything was going well for the first few months and the front yard looked great until one of them started to go slightly brown, then lose leaves, then just die.


Why did it die?

All of the other plants seem to be flourishing.

They all get the same amount of water, the same time in the sun and sit in the same soil.

I don’t understand why this one plant is dying and perhaps I never will, but as I thought about it, I realised that people aren’t very different from lavender.

We can treat everyone the same, give them the same amount of encouragement and the same amount of attention, but some people just won’t flourish.

Sometimes, we want to overanalyse those situations when our message doesn’t get through.

Why can we influence some people, but not others?

Why do some people buy from us, but not others?

Why do some people like us, but not others?

The temptation can be to fixate and obsess over those who don’t seem to respond positively to us, but that would be a mistake.

Sometimes, a lavender plant just dies, for no logical reason.

Does that mean that I give up on gardening (or influencing people)?

Of course not.

Does that mean that all of the other plants will die soon (or that everyone will reject me)?

I wouldn’t have thought so.

All people are important and deserve to be treated with dignity and respect.

But some won’t ever get your message, so don’t waste valuable time, emotion and energy on them, but focus on those who are responsive to your work.

Do better for them.

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