We all know that men and women are different.

One of the significant differences is what they need to hear to help them feel secure and valued in their relationships.

In his book, “WEIRD: Because Normal isn’t Working,” Craig Groeschel identifies this difference and outlines how husbands and wives can effectively encourage and build up their spouses.

In the interests of being gentlemanly, let’s start with ladies first.

Wives need to hear, “I love you, because…” – Most husbands would agree that saying, “I love you” to their wives is something that we can never do too often.  Craig suggests that by adding “because…” and giving your wife specific reasons for your affection is even better.

Here are a few examples:

  • I love you because you’re my best friend.
  • I love you because of the phenomenal contribution that you make to our household.
  • I love you because your more beautiful to me every day.
  • I love you because you are so supportive of me.

Husbands, I highly recommend this.  Be specific, be creative and continue to find new reasons for your love that you can share with your wife.

Husbands need to hear, “I believe in you.” – Husbands like to hear that they are loved as well, but more than anything, they need to be affirmed by their wives.  Despite our bravado, we’re insecure at heart and like to know that we’re held in high regard and respected by our wives.  Hearing that our wives believe in us, increases our self-belief and gives us more confidence to be the best man we can be.

Craig says it well, “In so many ways, a husband is in the process of becoming what his wife sees in him. Since she knows him better than anyone else, if she says he’s no good, he’s tempted to believe it. If she thinks he’s amazing, he’ll start to believe he can accomplish a lot.”

Wives have a lot of power and when they tell their husbands that they believe in them and their abilities, they are more likely to live up to such expectations.  Sometimes, it can be difficult to find things to affirm, but I would encourage all wives to have a close look and unearth positive attributes that you can acknowledge.

I hope that these simple statements help your relationship.

If they’re new to you, why not give them a try and let us know how you go?

Do you have any other statements that you use to add value to your marriage?

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