You are currently browsing the monthly archive for October 2011.

Sometimes, we wish our spouses would change.

If only they talked nicer, looked at things from our point of view, were more encouraging, showed more affection, spent more time with us or expressed their love for us more often…

Maybe our marriages would be different.

Sometimes, we wish our kids would change.

If only they listened to you, did their homework, finished their chores without complaining, were either a few years older or younger…

Perhaps we would be better parents.

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Logan looking after his twin sister Madison

I saw this doing the rounds of Facebook a few weeks ago and had to share it.  If someone knows the original author, please let me know so that I can acknowledge them appropriately.

We need to teach our daughters to distinguish between:

A man who flatters her and a man who compliments her.

A man who spends money on her and a man who invests in her.

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When you’re feeling overwhelmed by life…

Find three things to be grateful for.

When your circumstances have changed for the worst…

Find three things to be grateful for.

When you think you’ve hit rock bottom…

Find three things to be grateful for.

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It’s easy to get caught up in the mythology that independence and individuality is something to aspire to.

Despite our best efforts, the reality is that we need others to assist us in our journey and finding a mentor can make a significant difference to our endeavours.

Whether we’re wanting to further develop in our parenting, our career or any other aspect of life, mentors can be extremely beneficial.

Personally, I have benefitted from multiple mentors over the years and greatly appreciate the contribution that they each have made in my development.

Why should you get yourself a mentor?

Here are five reasons that I can think of:

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It’s a common question that’s used to measure whether or not someone is truly passionate about their job, “Would you do it for free?”

It sounds like a reasonable question, except that most people remember that they have a mortgage, bills and other expenses so there’s invariably a part of them that responds, “No.”

Does this mean that you’re not passionate about your role?

Not necessarily.  If you want to know if your heart is in what you do, perhaps you should ask yourself these questions instead: Read the rest of this entry »

In his song “Next Year,” jazz musician Jamie Cullum lists a bunch of resolutions that he’s made.

Among other things, he’s gonna drink less beer, get up at a decent hour, read more books, keep up with the news, learn how to cook, pay his bills on time, only drink the finest wine and call his Gran every Sunday.

He then asks himself if he’ll keep these resolutions and acknowledges that the answer’s probably “no.”

You probably have a list of things that you’re putting off until next year.

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Soren Kierkegaard tells the story of the parable of the ducks.

There is a town where only ducks live.

Every Sunday the ducks waddle out of their houses and waddle down the main street to their church.

They waddle into the cathedral and squat in their pews.

The duck choir sings and then the duck pastor comes and reads from the duck bible.

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Our twins are now at an age when they are toilet trained during the day without any accidents, but they still need nappies at night-time.

This leads to what I call the “poo lottery.”

When we go to bed, we check on our kids and our son, Logan often has a lovely smelly surprise in his nappy for us.

Lately, I’ve found myself getting annoyed with him, muttering under my breath as I change him.  Then, when he doesn’t do a poo in his nappy I’m relieved.

It occurred to me that this isn’t the most resourceful way of looking at the situation.

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Over the years, I’ve coached many people who are unemployed.

One of the questions that I ask them is, “What are you currently doing to find work?”

I am constantly surprised by the response that I generally get as the activities often add up to about five hours of work per week.

I can’t help but feel that in the current economic situation that’s gripping most countries, that this isn’t going to be enough to find a meaningful full-time job.  John Lees, author of “How to Get a Job You Love” puts it this way, “Today a lack-lustre job search will net you virtually nothing.”

If a full-time job is generally seen as working 40 hours per week, then I think that should be the aim for any job-seeker.  Not only will such a volume of work increase your opportunity to be successful, but when you find a job, you’ll be well-tuned for the rigours of full-time work, something that can be an issue if you’ve been out of the workplace for a while.

But how do you fill up 40 hours a week with meaningful activities that will get you closer to your goal?

Here are 12 suggestions that I hope are helpful: Read the rest of this entry »

It starts with an aspiration to be successful at work or any other venture that we set our minds to.  We aim high and have bold plans, but soon realise that to be truly successful requires balance in other aspects of our lives.

Then we understand that there’s no point in having a thriving career if our kids are off the rails and our relationship with them is tenuous at best.

So we work backwards.

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