Photo by Thomas Hawk via Flickr

Most of us have been there.

You have a disagreement or there’s something that you really want at work, home or church.

You do anything to get your way.

Name calling, manipulation, pulling rank, bringing up the past, yelling, threatening, even intimidation.

And then you win…

…but have you really won?

The next time you have a similar situation, those around you are better prepared, more suspicious and less likely to give in.

People will start to work against you, sabotage your efforts and damage your reputation and credibility.

Not to mention the bittersweet taste of such victories.  When you can’t celebrate your successes with others, but end up looking over your shoulder for possible reprisals, you haven’t really won.

Successful people understand that life isn’t about winning against those around you, but winning with those around you.

Imagine if you could effectively influence people so that they wanted to work with and for you, without the need for battleground tactics.

Imagine if your ideas were so compelling that people couldn’t help but be excited about delivering them.

Imagine if others were asking how you did it, rather than rationalising your behaviour to justify an outcome.

Imagine if you saw those around you as partners to work with, not adversaries to be defeated.

Imagine celebrating your victories with those you love and hold in high regard, rather than in isolation with a hollow feeling inside you.

Imagine if you didn’t just win once and then had everyone working against you, but you won regularly with a team of people around you working with and for you.

Now you’re winning.

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